These Training Wheels

"I want to take these training wheels off forever!" proclaims my 4-year old, my baby.

It was just the sweetest, cutest thing ever said that day, after Gise had become a full-fledged member of the 2-wheel riding universe.

Achieving this status is one of the big milestones in the preschool years, along with learning how to pump on a swing, tie your shoes, and wipe your own booty. As a parent, I revel in any achievement accomplished by my child, especially one that can make the bike rides go a bit more speedy. The child too is often so proud he'll have to call all the grandmas and grandpas, have to ride from morning up to sundown, and proclaim he'll take those training wheels off forever (or at least until he graduates to an adult tricycle).

Yet, as Gise stated his declaration, and after the cuteness of it settled in, I realized I was hesitant in him taking those training wheels off. He'll have so many more opportunities in his life to do so, and I'm scared, nervous for him. What about when he has to take off the training wheels when he gets cut from the team? What about when he has to take off the training wheels and deal with a broken heart from his first love? What about when he has to take off the training wheels and head to college? What about when he has graduates from that college and faces the world of the employed/unemployed?

I know he will face all of these milestones at some point in his life, but I just want to hold him back from it all for awhile. My baby.

I also know that taking those training wheels off leads to some fabulous adventures. These moments are what help us grow, grow into who we become. I pray that I do have children who take the training wheels off and embrace the experiences with such clarity and confidence. I pray they will learn from these moments, knowing it will make them a better human being, shaping them into the person God has planned from the beginning for them to become.

Go ahead, Gise, take those training wheels off forever. If you fall, get back up and keep going. If you hurt, surround yourself with those who will you encourage you and make you feel better. Wear the right equipment to keep yourself from harm. Ride alongside others who share your same goals, but always pushing each other to be better. When you have no one to ride with, riding by yourself is good for you too.

Overall, I am so excited for you, Gise. The smile seen on your face, especially as you can now ride like The Brothers, is priceless. I am so proud you have reached this moment in your life. I will be there for each one of them, Lord willing. Mostly, I want you to be proud of you, not needing to do it for others, but for yourself.

Ride, my child, ride.

Enjoy it.

It's So Quiet, I Can Hear My Head Not Pounding

Shhh...

Do you hear that?  Me neither.

Except for the tapping at the keyboard and the quiet noises an unemployed husband makes reading his newspaper at the kitchen table, it is quiet; it is still; it is calm.

I have endured the summer.  I have made it.  Made it through countless arguments over who hit who and who said what.  Made it through the guilt of allowing them countless hours of watching "iCarly" and "Phineas & Ferb" and recordings of "Wipeout".  Made it through an enumerable amount of inquisitions on why this one or that one could sleep over or not.  Made it through the summer having the aforementioned husband home and kids not truly understanding why he can't play 24-7 since he is not working.

Now, as I sit in the peace, I can say it was worth it.  Today is the first day of school.  This is the day my youngest has started going all day, mind you it is only 2 days a week, but we have to start somewhere.

I walked in the door after dropping the younglings off and asked the husband, "Now what do I do?"  He said I should lay on the couch and read a book.  "Are you being sarcastic?" I questioned, seeing as that is all I did during my summer of endurance.  Yet, when others who have asked me what I am going to do now with my free time, I have responded with exactly the words my husband said to me this morning.  At least for the first month or so.  A good friend told me yesterday in response to my couch laziness, "You deserve it.  We have worked hard for our kids.  You can do whatever you want."

It is now time to relish in the peace and quiet, but I first have to figure out how to get that noisy, talk-to-himself, sing-to-himself, fart-and-burp-and-laugh-at himself, quirky husband of mine out of my space to do so.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

These holidays have been deadly for my waist band.  And the fact that the gym isn't calling my name as loudly as last Christmas.

But what I am thankful for is a good ol' workout shoveling the snow.  That has got to burn off at least a thousand calories, right?  Burn off that half bag of Tositos, right?  I don't know, but that's what I tell myself.

In addition to getting my big ol' booty off the couch, shoveling is a way to hang out with the boys outside.  I get to be the hero by pushing that white puff into big piles for them.  Then what is created it entirely up to them.  So far this year, we have had the simple sled hill and also the pile made into snowball forts, inspired by the watched-the-night-before movie of "Elf".  They just love that part where Buddy is a snowball-throwing machine, attacking the bullies and making them fall over!  That scene, and the burp for like 30 seconds scene.

So, enjoy the winter, the snow.  Enjoy the fishtails and the donuts.  Enjoy the bitterness of the chilly wind that takes your breath away.  Just be thankful you have breath, be thankful you can drive, be thankful you can see.  And I am thankful I can shovel.  Enjoy the snow, the winter.

Heart Breaker

My guy's heart is broken.

He has been pushed down and kicked, literally, by the lady in his life.

Grant likes the girls. He loves to chase them at recess, tease them in the classroom, and give them smiles galore.

It seems quite harmless, but I guess it has gone too far. This year when one girl, Jannie*, found out she had Grant in her class, she was like, "Oh no!" Grant loves to tease Jannie, mercilessly. I told her to just let him know if it was too much and ask him to stop. I kept telling myself that maybe the girls like being teased too.

Maren* was the new girl this year, chasing her and her best friend Haddie* outside. I made sure to keep reminding Grant not to take it too far, or the girls aren't going to like him back. "But Mom, they chase us too!" So, I didn't worry much about it.

Haddie then became Grant's new flavor of the month, most likely because she is in his own class and sat in the same group. I heard it from the teacher and aide at conferences when I asked if he was being a respectful classmate. "Grant loves Haddie. Always has to sit right next to her when she is reading and stuff. Not a problem though. Cute." And Grant told me one student always lets him cut in front of her if she is by Haddie.

These kids are so cute, I thought. And I even joked about it with Haddie's mother. Precious and sweet. Awww.

The tables have turned. "Grant, when did you get that cut on your leg?" Recess, last Friday. "Maren pushed me down and kicked me." "So did Haddie."

He was dead serious, somber, with sadness being read all over his face. "They said they don't like me, Mom."

"Sometimes girls just say that to tease you back, Grant. Maybe that's what they meant."

No, it wasn't what they meant. He knew that his heart had been broken. And mine as well.

I just didn't know what to say. I think I probably confused him more than I helped him. I told him she wasn't worth it if she was going to treat him that way. I told him to let those girls know they shouldn't be kicking and pushing, and to ask them why they did it. I told him to just play with the boys from now on. I told him to calm down on the girl-teasing. I told him maybe he ought to apologize to Haddie and Maren for teasing them so much. I asked him if he wanted me to call Haddie's mom.

I probably should have just given him a hug and told him it was going to be okay.

Wisdom is what I pray for. Maybe by the time my last child goes through it all, I will have it down. But I will just plod along trying my best, I guess. What would others do, I also thought?

I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than need be. And I'm sure Grant was at fault in some way too. Two sides to the story, always.

This child is a wonderful boy. He is smart, outgoing, smiley, adventurous, among many other super traits. I pray as a mother I do not stifle his personality. If part of being who Grant is, in that he is a big teaser, then go for it. I just need to teach him and guide him in learning how to be a friend in other ways also.

Or maybe teasing and chasing girls at recess and hitting the one you "like" is just part of being a 3rd grader. Hmmm....


*names changed to protect the innocent (until proven guilty) (and when guilty, my baby's mama is coming to get you!)

Dear Blog,

Have you missed me? Let me start off by saying sorry, sorry I've neglected you. Really, by neglecting you, I have been neglecting me. It's only been brought to my attention lately that I haven't been visiting with you and sharing with you.

I know, you have heard rumors. I'm sorry I was lured over to the world of Facebook. I know, I said I wouldn't get sucked in. And, please know, I haven't given myself fully to FB. (That's "Facebook" in FB terminology.) If I had given myself fully, I would be updating my status every hour with trivial daily goings-on, like, "I just went poop," or "I'm leaving for carpool now." You get it, right?

Anyway, Blog, Facebook isn't the reason, so don't blame them.

What I share with you are things that make me smile in my life - something about the kids, some daily obscurity - or something I needed to get off my chest (something I could share with not only you, but also the whole world, without them becoming over analytical about my life). And it's been a rough year over here. I haven't seen those things that make me smile. I have had a hard time enjoying boys who are extremely naughty. I have had a hard time facing the day with no motivation. I have had a hard time without encouraging words in my life.

So, Blog, I haven't had any joy to share with you or any crazy, random thoughts because my joy is being squelched and my thoughts are dreary. I do not want to share those words with the world, knowing those words will be forever stamped into the wide world of the web.

Yet, one has to press on. You have to move forward slowly, even if it is one little inch at a time, or you are never going to get anywhere. And silly me, I know (and so does my therapist), that I find joy in writing. Thus, I will press on. I will start the day with an extra prayer, asking for joyous moments and the ability to see and acknowledging them. And then, Blog, I will share my life with you.

With Sincere Forgiveness and Remorse,

Amy
Author

Blahhh!

The Gibson family has arrived at the half-way mark in bringing this stomach virus full circle. Now, after knowing I will not die, I can reflect a bit and make light of the events of the past week. I would love to offer up some pieces of knowledge I have accumulated living with this ugly sickness that has grab hold of myself and Will and Grant.

1. Did you hear of the lose 10 pounds in 10 hours diet?

2. A mom hears the whimpers of pain and the moans of hurt of a child, but a dad can sleep through it all. Yet, when the mom experiences these same symptoms, the husband wakes up the next morning and exclaims his wife is "weird", has no sympathy for her, and makes fun of her for making those same noises as she suffered all night long.

3. Even though you think it might be better to have your brother drive because you are weak and are off-kilter, think again. (Maybe that's the real reason Grant puked in your truck. Hmmm.)

4. At 2:30 in the morning, 45 minutes between a child's pukes is just the right amount or time to fold 4 loads of laundry. Why go back to sleep anyway?

5. All my boys have comfortable beds.

6. If you don't know which end to put on the toilet, go with the rear one. Then, it frees your hands up to hold the bucket for the other end.

So, enjoy your sunshine. I'll keep you posted on the progress of this flu and any other new tidbits of junk I acquire. Enjoy!

Who's Clues? Blue's Clues!

As your days keep moving along, here at the Gibson house our days move along a bit more rapidly thanks to the little one named Gise. He, like his older brothers, is constantly moving. Yet, unlike his older brothers, he gets into more things than them.

His new thing is hand soap. After thinking he is just messing around with the water and toothbrushes in the bathroom, I will find him washing his hands. But Gise doesn't use just one squirt, he uses at least 20.

"Bubbles, Mommy?" he'll say as he shows me his creation in the sink.

"Rub," Gise proudly says as he imitates others.

Yet, yesterday was the best soap moment so far. As I was hanging out in some other room, I hear the Dad yelling at Gise. "No, no. No soap. No rub on wall!" And then I hear a hand smack or two followed by a big cry and "Mommy, Mommy." The father states, "Yeah, you go find your Mommy!!"

Wearily the baby (my 2 1/2 year old baby) Gise moseys over to me where he is met with a hug from a hugger who doesn't want to get soap all over her.

"Were you washing your hands?" I question. "Did you get it on the wall?"

Gise answers, "Paw print."

Melt my heart, my child - even though your Mom and Dad had to clean up all the suds on the walls - melt my heart.