Heart Breaker

My guy's heart is broken.

He has been pushed down and kicked, literally, by the lady in his life.

Grant likes the girls. He loves to chase them at recess, tease them in the classroom, and give them smiles galore.

It seems quite harmless, but I guess it has gone too far. This year when one girl, Jannie*, found out she had Grant in her class, she was like, "Oh no!" Grant loves to tease Jannie, mercilessly. I told her to just let him know if it was too much and ask him to stop. I kept telling myself that maybe the girls like being teased too.

Maren* was the new girl this year, chasing her and her best friend Haddie* outside. I made sure to keep reminding Grant not to take it too far, or the girls aren't going to like him back. "But Mom, they chase us too!" So, I didn't worry much about it.

Haddie then became Grant's new flavor of the month, most likely because she is in his own class and sat in the same group. I heard it from the teacher and aide at conferences when I asked if he was being a respectful classmate. "Grant loves Haddie. Always has to sit right next to her when she is reading and stuff. Not a problem though. Cute." And Grant told me one student always lets him cut in front of her if she is by Haddie.

These kids are so cute, I thought. And I even joked about it with Haddie's mother. Precious and sweet. Awww.

The tables have turned. "Grant, when did you get that cut on your leg?" Recess, last Friday. "Maren pushed me down and kicked me." "So did Haddie."

He was dead serious, somber, with sadness being read all over his face. "They said they don't like me, Mom."

"Sometimes girls just say that to tease you back, Grant. Maybe that's what they meant."

No, it wasn't what they meant. He knew that his heart had been broken. And mine as well.

I just didn't know what to say. I think I probably confused him more than I helped him. I told him she wasn't worth it if she was going to treat him that way. I told him to let those girls know they shouldn't be kicking and pushing, and to ask them why they did it. I told him to just play with the boys from now on. I told him to calm down on the girl-teasing. I told him maybe he ought to apologize to Haddie and Maren for teasing them so much. I asked him if he wanted me to call Haddie's mom.

I probably should have just given him a hug and told him it was going to be okay.

Wisdom is what I pray for. Maybe by the time my last child goes through it all, I will have it down. But I will just plod along trying my best, I guess. What would others do, I also thought?

I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than need be. And I'm sure Grant was at fault in some way too. Two sides to the story, always.

This child is a wonderful boy. He is smart, outgoing, smiley, adventurous, among many other super traits. I pray as a mother I do not stifle his personality. If part of being who Grant is, in that he is a big teaser, then go for it. I just need to teach him and guide him in learning how to be a friend in other ways also.

Or maybe teasing and chasing girls at recess and hitting the one you "like" is just part of being a 3rd grader. Hmmm....


*names changed to protect the innocent (until proven guilty) (and when guilty, my baby's mama is coming to get you!)

Dear Blog,

Have you missed me? Let me start off by saying sorry, sorry I've neglected you. Really, by neglecting you, I have been neglecting me. It's only been brought to my attention lately that I haven't been visiting with you and sharing with you.

I know, you have heard rumors. I'm sorry I was lured over to the world of Facebook. I know, I said I wouldn't get sucked in. And, please know, I haven't given myself fully to FB. (That's "Facebook" in FB terminology.) If I had given myself fully, I would be updating my status every hour with trivial daily goings-on, like, "I just went poop," or "I'm leaving for carpool now." You get it, right?

Anyway, Blog, Facebook isn't the reason, so don't blame them.

What I share with you are things that make me smile in my life - something about the kids, some daily obscurity - or something I needed to get off my chest (something I could share with not only you, but also the whole world, without them becoming over analytical about my life). And it's been a rough year over here. I haven't seen those things that make me smile. I have had a hard time enjoying boys who are extremely naughty. I have had a hard time facing the day with no motivation. I have had a hard time without encouraging words in my life.

So, Blog, I haven't had any joy to share with you or any crazy, random thoughts because my joy is being squelched and my thoughts are dreary. I do not want to share those words with the world, knowing those words will be forever stamped into the wide world of the web.

Yet, one has to press on. You have to move forward slowly, even if it is one little inch at a time, or you are never going to get anywhere. And silly me, I know (and so does my therapist), that I find joy in writing. Thus, I will press on. I will start the day with an extra prayer, asking for joyous moments and the ability to see and acknowledging them. And then, Blog, I will share my life with you.

With Sincere Forgiveness and Remorse,

Amy
Author

Blahhh!

The Gibson family has arrived at the half-way mark in bringing this stomach virus full circle. Now, after knowing I will not die, I can reflect a bit and make light of the events of the past week. I would love to offer up some pieces of knowledge I have accumulated living with this ugly sickness that has grab hold of myself and Will and Grant.

1. Did you hear of the lose 10 pounds in 10 hours diet?

2. A mom hears the whimpers of pain and the moans of hurt of a child, but a dad can sleep through it all. Yet, when the mom experiences these same symptoms, the husband wakes up the next morning and exclaims his wife is "weird", has no sympathy for her, and makes fun of her for making those same noises as she suffered all night long.

3. Even though you think it might be better to have your brother drive because you are weak and are off-kilter, think again. (Maybe that's the real reason Grant puked in your truck. Hmmm.)

4. At 2:30 in the morning, 45 minutes between a child's pukes is just the right amount or time to fold 4 loads of laundry. Why go back to sleep anyway?

5. All my boys have comfortable beds.

6. If you don't know which end to put on the toilet, go with the rear one. Then, it frees your hands up to hold the bucket for the other end.

So, enjoy your sunshine. I'll keep you posted on the progress of this flu and any other new tidbits of junk I acquire. Enjoy!

Who's Clues? Blue's Clues!

As your days keep moving along, here at the Gibson house our days move along a bit more rapidly thanks to the little one named Gise. He, like his older brothers, is constantly moving. Yet, unlike his older brothers, he gets into more things than them.

His new thing is hand soap. After thinking he is just messing around with the water and toothbrushes in the bathroom, I will find him washing his hands. But Gise doesn't use just one squirt, he uses at least 20.

"Bubbles, Mommy?" he'll say as he shows me his creation in the sink.

"Rub," Gise proudly says as he imitates others.

Yet, yesterday was the best soap moment so far. As I was hanging out in some other room, I hear the Dad yelling at Gise. "No, no. No soap. No rub on wall!" And then I hear a hand smack or two followed by a big cry and "Mommy, Mommy." The father states, "Yeah, you go find your Mommy!!"

Wearily the baby (my 2 1/2 year old baby) Gise moseys over to me where he is met with a hug from a hugger who doesn't want to get soap all over her.

"Were you washing your hands?" I question. "Did you get it on the wall?"

Gise answers, "Paw print."

Melt my heart, my child - even though your Mom and Dad had to clean up all the suds on the walls - melt my heart.

Oh, Darn It!

Have you ever noticed they don't make socks like they used to? I don't remember mine becoming as hole-y as quickly from years past? Should we bring back "darning"? Do you even know what darning is?

And speaking of hosiery, I wore nylons, aka panty hose, the other Sunday for the first time in years. The outfit called for it, and luckily the only pair I own is black. Yet, the elastic waist was a little flimsy. (Must be all the weight I've lost. Ha!) Having a little fun running/simple jog up to the sidewalk of church with the little guys, I noticed these nylons had let go of my waist and were headed on down to about the hips. No big deal. Yet, a trip to the bathroom after dropping the boys off in Treasureland was needed after I realized they were most likely going to be shown falling down at the hem of my skirt shortly. The rest of the church service and trip home were most uneventful, but it was great to come home and rid myself of them. I was tempted to throw them away, but who knows when I might need another pair of black nylons again.

"Five what?"

Adam's teacher pulled me aside after I helped with Group Time yesterday. "I have to show you something," says Mrs. DeVries.

"Uh oh," I utter wearily. (I shutter when the teacher needs to talk to me. Or the school's name shows up on the Caller ID.)

She showed me this...

A standard paper the boys use to learn their numbers in Pre-K. I've seen them before.

"What do you think those are?" she asks, referring to the 5 brown objects Adam drew.

I was clueless. She said she was too when she asked Adam what they were.

"They're 5 wieners!!" Adam had happily proclaimed.

I wasn't shocked or surprised. And if it had been any other teacher besides Kristin DeVries, I most likely would have been a bit embarrassed. I just shook my head, knowing my son too well. Knowing that "poop" is his current favorite word or knowing that my boys have no qualms about their privates or knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate.

Actually, I found it quite amusing, not laugh out loud amusing, but smile-to-yourself amusing, feel-the-love-for-your-child amusing.

Oh, Adam, you make me smile. You are one of a kind!!

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

If any of you know me at all, you would know that I would not shell out $20 for a Halloween costume - for something you will wear for only 2 hours in one day! So, as I was glancing through my digital pictures, I was reminded of how my boys earned their way to become Clone Troopers.

In order to obtain the costume of the year, I told them they had to raise half of the cost of it. Our chore chart that rests on the frig lists, among many, household tasks in which to get some cash of their own -- dusting the upstairs bedrooms - $1, vacuuming - 10 cents per room, cleaning the powder room - 75 cents, sweeping and mopping the tile floor - $3. And the last item is change Gise' diaper - 50 cents pee-pee, $5 poopy. Never since the week before Halloween has this item been approached, as I have thought it would never be approached, just a joke in the midst of all the work.

Yet, Grant needed $4.50 more.

"Mom, I'll change Gise' poopy diaper," Grant said hesitantly.

I believe Gise was so dumbfounded that his brother was wiping his bootie, that he laid so still. He always gives his Momma a hard time, kicking, screaming and squirming.

Here's some pictures of my hard-working boys, Adam & Grant...

And Gise...

And Will...