My guy's heart is broken.He has been pushed down and kicked, literally, by the lady in his life.
Grant likes the girls. He loves to chase them at recess, tease them in the classroom, and give them smiles galore.
It seems quite harmless, but I guess it has gone too far. This year when one girl, Jannie*, found out she had Grant in her class, she was like, "Oh no!" Grant loves to tease Jannie, mercilessly. I told her to just let him know if it was too much and ask him to stop. I kept telling myself that maybe the girls like being teased too.
Maren* was the new girl this year, chasing her and her best friend Haddie* outside. I made sure to keep reminding Grant not to take it too far, or the girls aren't going to like him back. "But Mom, they chase us too!" So, I didn't worry much about it.
Haddie then became Grant's new flavor of the month, most likely because she is in his own class and sat in the same group. I heard it from the teacher and aide at conferences when I asked if he was being a respectful classmate. "Grant loves Haddie. Always has to sit right next to her when she is reading and stuff. Not a problem though. Cute." And Grant told me one student always lets him cut in front of her if she is by Haddie.
These kids are so cute, I thought. And I even joked about it with Haddie's mother. Precious and sweet. Awww.
The tables have turned. "Grant, when did you get that cut on your leg?" Recess, last Friday. "Maren pushed me down and kicked me." "So did Haddie."
He was dead serious, somber, with sadness being read all over his face. "They said they don't like me, Mom."
"Sometimes girls just say that to tease you back, Grant. Maybe that's what they meant."
No, it wasn't what they meant. He knew that his heart had been broken. And mine as well.
I just didn't know what to say. I think I probably confused him more than I helped him. I told him she wasn't worth it if she was going to treat him that way. I told him to let those girls know they shouldn't be kicking and pushing, and to ask them why they did it. I told him to just play with the boys from now on. I told him to calm down on the girl-teasing. I told him maybe he ought to apologize to Haddie and Maren for teasing them so much. I asked him if he wanted me to call Haddie's mom.
I probably should have just given him a hug and told him it was going to be okay.
Wisdom is what I pray for. Maybe by the time my last child goes through it all, I will have it down. But I will just plod along trying my best, I guess. What would others do, I also thought?
I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than need be. And I'm sure Grant was at fault in some way too. Two sides to the story, always.
This child is a wonderful boy. He is smart, outgoing, smiley, adventurous, among many other super traits. I pray as a mother I do not stifle his personality. If part of being who Grant is, in that he is a big teaser, then go for it. I just need to teach him and guide him in learning how to be a friend in other ways also.
Or maybe teasing and chasing girls at recess and hitting the one you "like" is just part of being a 3rd grader. Hmmm....
*names changed to protect the innocent (until proven guilty) (and when guilty, my baby's mama is coming to get you!)
